So I feel a lot like this summer with everyone home I have spent a majority of my time breaking up fights or asking someone to stop doing something they shouldn't. I am typically a pretty positive parent, but have really felt a negative undertone this summer breaking up the arguments.
Last night at the temple Shawn and I came up with a few ideas that we wanted to implement in our home to try to divert these negative problems, mainly to help mom keep her sanity.
More responsibility, seeing the good, and slowing down.
Today I noticed something positive in Bostyn that I have never shared with her before. I told her how much I appreciated her ability to see Tytus' struggles and I loved her willingness to love him through them. I gave her a few examples of when she has been there for Tytus in the exact way that he needed it.
She got teared up and said, "You know Mom, I really needed to hear this today!" Her whole demeanor changed. I could tell that my compliment to her strengthened her ability to see the good she had inside of herself.
So simple. Instead of telling her the things she had been doing wrong, I told her the one thing I had seen her do right. I forget that even kids have days when they doubt themselves. Just like us, they want to feel valued and appreciated.
If we don't believe in them, who will? Wish I could have had this eye opener a few months ago. Our kids are not perfect, but they each have good in them. Look for it. It might surprise you just how amazing they are.